By Laura Bourdeanu, NP, PhD
Each year, there is a day in February that symbolizes love, Valentinea��s Day. What better way to show that love to your partner than to share this day with them and take time out to tell them how much they mean to you. Cancer may have altered either or both of your lives physically, but dona��t let it get to you emotionally. Valentinea��s Day is all about emotions, so be sure to express yours by extending your love and admiration to others and receiving the same, or more, in return. The hearts that you see everywhere on Valentinea��s Day serve as a reminder to find love in our own. This Valentinea��s Day, try out the following things to see how they uplift your mood and the mood of those around you, and forget about everyday worries. This blog is beneficial for you as a cancer patient and your partner as well. Read on to find out how.
If you or your partner has cancer, the one who doesna��t should make breakfast (in the early morning) or dinner (in the evening) in bed to show how much they care about the other. Alternatively, depending on the severity of the condition of the affected partner, you or your partner, whoever is unaffected, can plan out the breakfast or dinner at a restaurant. Valentinea��s Day shouldna��t be about chocolates and other harmful foods. It is the thought that counts; prepare or order a breakfast or dinner that is rich in healthy foods such as plants, legumes greens, seeds and nuts, whole grains and sea greens. You can also use freshly squeezed juices that are permissible and have anti-inflammatory properties. Use low-glycemic fruits for juices and desserts and avoid inflammatory dairy products and red-meats at all costs. If you are concerned about the food to be used, consult the oncologist to find out what meats the partner affected by the cancer can have. Do all of this planning in secrecy and dona��t let it get to the partner. Communication is necessary as it may bring both of you closer together. You can take this opportunity to talk, share memories and connect with one another.
If you used to give them flowers, either one of you can still be on the giving or receiving end. Keep any allergies in mind and select your flower bouquet based on that, as people may be allergic to the a�?overly clichA�da�? roses. White wild flowers may have the effect of brightening up a room. Even if your partner is not able to get you the flowers, order them and tell the store to take the name of the partner when the delivery boy comes to the door. The look on your partnera��s face will be of surprise and adoration when you thank them for them. Sharing a kiss after that will help strengthen your relationship further. It will allow both of you to connect on a deeper emotional level.
You can choose to rent or buy a romantic comedy or whichever genre that you and your partner used to enjoy before the cancer, to relive the old times. Youa��d be surprised at how old movies that you have already watched that may have held a special place for both of you would give you the opportunity to connect and be intimate. Be open about your feelings and tell your partner that you love in between scenes where you have a strong urge to say so. That would be one way to get closer and intimate with your partner. Either one of you can do that.
Check local spas for openings on Valentinea��s Day, and have a relaxing spa day with your loved one. This can also prove more relaxing and comforting than a movie or breakfast in bed, as you can communicate while you get a massage. Better yet, for a more personalized massage experience, have scented candles lit in the bedroom with the lights off, and give your partner a massage. This is good for connecting with them on an intimate level. This massage can depend on the type of cancer and associated treatment. If it doesna��t interfere with that, go for it!
Give gifts to your partner to show them that you care. Just dona��t go for sugary treats like chocolates, by something else like some jewelry or a watch instead. Either partner can do this. Another great gift to give is a journal that would help the partner who is going through cancer to record their feelings, emotions and experiences. Make the gift special for them.
Have a dance and/or singing session at home and be passionate about it. If you have a grand piano at home and either of you know some good tunes, you can play those and have the other sing along. Crank up those tunes on a CD or your computer and dance or sing along to your favorite songs.
It doesna��t matter who takes the initiative as long as either of you takes it. Take the time out to just say that you love them. You never know how a plain and simple a�?I love you!a�? can affect the one you love. Say it with meaning and lovingly. Make sure to say it whenever you find the opportunity to. It can be at breakfast and dinner, during the movie, during the massage, while youa��re singing and dancing or when you exchange/give/receive gift(s).
Whichever route you take this Valentinea��s, make sure that you dona��t bring up cancer. Ita��s a special day to commemorate your relationship with a loved one, and make sure you let that cancer know that ita��s not invited.